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Apologizing in person
In Japan, a serious apology is usually made in person, and promptly. The one responsible goes to the person harmed, often bringing a 菓子折り, a boxed gift of sweets, and says the apology plainly, without excuses. A superior may follow separately — the section chief apologizing for the organization — but the person who made the decision going first is seen as 筋を通す, doing things in the proper order. The phrases of an apology admit fault before anything else: 言うまでもなく, ～てしかるべきでした, and the refusal to make 言い訳. Offering to repair the damage with your own hands, when that is possible, can count for more than the gift. In the countryside, such an apology is often followed by work side by side, and sometimes by a meal. The grammar of this lesson is the grammar of fault and obligation: てしかるべき, までもない, ずにはいられない, に越したことはない and がたい.