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An Italian wedding runs on its own rules
The first thing to understand is the scale. An Italian wedding is a full day and frequently a hundred and fifty people, because the guest list works outward through the family rather than inward from the couple, and declining a first cousin is not really available. The ceremony is either in church or at the comune — a civil wedding in the town hall, which is quick and increasingly common — and the reception that follows is a long sequence of courses that can run from two in the afternoon until late evening. Nobody rushes it; leaving early is noticed. Gifts work differently too. There is often a lista nozze at a named shop, but the widespread practice is la busta: you hand over an envelope of cash, and the amount is expected to cover roughly what your seat cost the couple, which in practice means a hundred euros or more per guest. On the way out every guest is given a bomboniera, a small keepsake wrapped with confetti — sugared almonds, not the paper kind, which are coriandoli. The almonds come in an odd number, usually five, one each for health, wealth, happiness, fertility and long life. Two last details a guest should know. Superstition still keeps couples away from Fridays and Tuesdays — né di Venere né di Marte ci si sposa — and the traditional toast auguri e figli maschi, wishing the couple male children, is these days said only as a deliberate joke about how dated it is.