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The wedding that counts is at the registry office
In Germany only a civil ceremony at the Standesamt is legally binding. A church wedding has no legal force at all, and until 2009 it was actually illegal to hold one before the civil ceremony. The result is that many couples have two events, sometimes on different days: a small, brisk appointment at the registry office with two witnesses and close family, and then a larger church or free ceremony with the party afterwards. Invitations are correspondingly layered, and being invited to the Feier rather than the Trauung is completely normal and not a slight. Other things worth knowing. Guests are not expected to dress as formally as at a British wedding, though a suit is safe. Money is a common and entirely acceptable gift, often presented creatively — folded into shapes, or pinned to a line. And the couple frequently pay for the party themselves rather than the bride's family doing so.